Sarcasm

Sarcasm is used a lot – at least in current society. First and foremost, sarcasm can be funny. There’s no doubt about that. However, it’s only funny at certain times and, like any joke, it’s only funny if both people are laughing. Why do I clarify this? Because sarcasm can be demeaning and hurtful when used inappropriately.

Sarcasm is often used as the excuse when someone says something that hurts someone else. They say things like, ‘Lighten up. I was just joking’ or ‘I was just picking on you’ or ‘It was meant to be funny.’ The person may really have been joking or they may just be trying to cover up for their actual emotions or for their guilt over hurting someone. If you are the one using sarcasm and you hurt someone with it, apologize and hopefully they will forgive you (as we’ve discussed before). You didn’t mean it and hopefully the other person will understand. 

However, often people say they were being sarcastic because they don’t want to have a conflict about the real issue – whatever it may be. They or you may be using sarcasm in order to gauge the other person’s reaction or using it to hurt the other person because you feel hurt about something else. 

Sarcasm is never productive when used in this way. It’s one more filter and defense mechanism that is important to look out for in others as well as yourself. Using it to hurt the other person is not going to solve the problem. Hearing it used often from someone else so doesn’t seem to be validating that you were hurt by their comment might be an indication that someone else is going on.