Conflict Resolution – Agreed Solution

However, let’s say that the other person does respond appropriately whether the first time or eventually. There’s still a ‘then what?’ All is well and perfect if the other person agrees to try your solution. Then, it’s just a matter of evaluating periodically if the solution is working for both parties. You can evaluate within yourself to see if you notice the change in the other’s behavior and to ask yourself how it makes you feel (good, bad, neutral). Did it solve your concerns? 

It’s important to also ask the other person how they feel the solution is going at different intervals. This helps to prevent any unshared negative emotions from building up and causing other problems or resentment. If you are happy with the results, you can preface this by saying something like, ‘I just want to make sure you are as happy as I am with this solution to (whatever the concern was). I noticed you were doing (changed behavior).’ This helps take the pressure off of someone else that might not be comfortable sharing negative emotions or concerns.

What if you aren’t satisfied with the results? It’s important to share that too and deal with any emotions. You might bring it up by saying something like, ‘I know we talked about changing (say the change). I hate to say this but I don’t think it’s working for me. I’m still feeing (name your feeling) when (this happens). What do you think?’ You are using the format of the ‘I’ statement again but recognizing that the other person did make a great effort in participating in the solution. It might take a couple different tried solutions in order to come to one that works for the both of you. But try them! Even if you don’t think it will work, it might be worth the try and effort.