Conflict Resolution – Chaotic Response

Over the next couple of days, we’ll be discussing what happens after the ‘I’ statement and attempt at the conflict resolution in an appropriate way. There may be a couple different responses. You may hope that the other person will readily agree to your solution and that is the easiest outcome but not always the one that you received. The other person may not agree to the solution. However, the first one we will discuss is if the other person gives you a ‘chaotic’ response. 

Not everyone responds well to ‘I’ statements at first. Why? Some people may have a jealousy that you are able to control your anger enough to do this. They may respond in a chaotic manner. This will most likely be anger in response through yelling and invalidation to your emotions or concerns. This results in no solution which can be frustrating. 

At this point, it’s best to exit the conversation/situation. No good can come from arguing (see Anger Management post). I wouldn’t hold this first response against them since they may be unused to this new way of presenting information. It takes sometimes takes others time to respond to new behavior because they have been expecting the old behavior and responses. However, if they continue to respond badly and with no progress to solving the concerns, you may need to seek outside help or decide whether it’s worth it to be in a relationship where the other person never really listens to you. There may be other things that are worth that sacrifice and only you can decide.