While verbal
communication is the crux of interaction with others, nonverbal communication
can make or break that connection as well. For instance, your wife might be
discussing the household work with you but her body posture may indicate
annoyance through having her hand on her hip or her facial expression. These
cues impact communication and they way the message is sent and received without
many of us being aware of it.
As the messenger
in communication, it is important to have your emotions under control before
expressing your thoughts. If your emotions aren’t at least recognized by
yourself, you could be portraying a negative facial expression, tone, and
posture. This can make other less likely to listen to you and take your
communication seriously. This is because nonverbal communication has the ability
to put the other person on the defensive just as quickly as words can. When we
perceive that other are having a negative view or opinion of us, we jump to
state our case and defend ourselves. This is why it’s important for the
messenger to be aware of feelings that may be expressed in other ways than
words.
As a
receiver of a message, it’s important to look for cues to the person’s emotions
and underlying feelings in the words. However, it’s just as important to
clarify those feelings rather than jumping to conclusions. Never think that you
can read a person’s mind or emotions simply by viewing their body language.
Will you be close – especially if you know the person for a longer time? Yes,
but only if your own emotions are clear and are not obstructing your ability to
receive those communications – both verbal and nonverbal – without judgment.
When you
jump to conclusions b/c you thought the other person was annoyed with you
through their eye roll or body posture, you may actually misunderstand what the
person was really trying to say. However, as I stated, these cues are important
for understanding underlying emotions – and we’ll get to how to clarify those
emotions and why they are important in communication between two people.
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